In March 2020, I was asked by a music video producer to proofread the description text for her latest project. She is a native German speaker, and English is her second language. I aimed to keep the original tone of voice by making few major alterations as possible. So she could clearly see how I updated the text, I provided her with a document displaying the side by side changes.
The original copy and my edit
The final edit used in the music video description
"Situa is a music video written, directed and produced by upcoming filmmaker Paulina Akbay, in collaboration with Afro-Neo Soul singer Donia Touglo.
Via singing in English and the language of her soul, Touglo draws attention to how we have lost our connection to the spiritual and natural part of society.
Akbay presents this concept in her own individualistic style. The law of entropy suggests that everything in the universe is part of an irreversible process; even the seemingly unnatural and disconnected times we live in are part of nature and evolution.
In order to find the answer and see the emerging pattern, the metaphor used for the above mentioned irreversibility, Donia calls upon the ancestors. She does so by drinking the foam of a beverage called Ubulawu, which is made of water and the sacred Xhosa plant silene undulata. The drink is known for creating lucid dreams and mostly grows around the Eastern Cape of South Africa.
Touglo caves to slumber; in her dreams, actress Palesa Moloto, and newcomer Laura Rachel Sachs, accompany her as symbolic spirit guides.
To honour Touglo’s West African Ewe roots, designer Hildegard Oehler adorned Donia and the dancers with her jewellery collection inspired by the Ghanaian Ashanti tribe as well as self-made cowrie shell garments.
Decorated in warm earthy tones, the set reflected the ancient spirit of this piece of music. To emphasise the mysterious atmosphere, a mix of West African cultural objects and improvised items dressed the space.
Technical expert Nils Domrös acted as main director of photography, lighting engineer and audio engineer. Fellow filmmakers Shamila Lengsfeld and Sarah Ann Oexmann came on board as second and third directresses of photography.
Post production was led by Paulina Akbay and Hildegard Oehler; the editing consisted of kaleidoscopic effects to form psychedelic, triptych images.
Special thanks go to the Faculty of Humanities of the University of Cologne and the Arturo acting school for lending their premises to the team."
Via singing in English and the language of her soul, Touglo draws attention to how we have lost our connection to the spiritual and natural part of society.
Akbay presents this concept in her own individualistic style. The law of entropy suggests that everything in the universe is part of an irreversible process; even the seemingly unnatural and disconnected times we live in are part of nature and evolution.
In order to find the answer and see the emerging pattern, the metaphor used for the above mentioned irreversibility, Donia calls upon the ancestors. She does so by drinking the foam of a beverage called Ubulawu, which is made of water and the sacred Xhosa plant silene undulata. The drink is known for creating lucid dreams and mostly grows around the Eastern Cape of South Africa.
Touglo caves to slumber; in her dreams, actress Palesa Moloto, and newcomer Laura Rachel Sachs, accompany her as symbolic spirit guides.
To honour Touglo’s West African Ewe roots, designer Hildegard Oehler adorned Donia and the dancers with her jewellery collection inspired by the Ghanaian Ashanti tribe as well as self-made cowrie shell garments.
Decorated in warm earthy tones, the set reflected the ancient spirit of this piece of music. To emphasise the mysterious atmosphere, a mix of West African cultural objects and improvised items dressed the space.
Technical expert Nils Domrös acted as main director of photography, lighting engineer and audio engineer. Fellow filmmakers Shamila Lengsfeld and Sarah Ann Oexmann came on board as second and third directresses of photography.
Post production was led by Paulina Akbay and Hildegard Oehler; the editing consisted of kaleidoscopic effects to form psychedelic, triptych images.
Special thanks go to the Faculty of Humanities of the University of Cologne and the Arturo acting school for lending their premises to the team."